THAMES ROCKETS – LONDON’S FASTEST BOAT TRIP

I’ve taken every speedboat ride on the Thames at least twice. Thames Rockets, Thames Jet, London Rib Voyages — the works. Here’s the thing nobody tells you: most people book the wrong one and spend £40 getting wet and bored. I’m here to fix that.

Thames Rockets runs the fastest passenger boats on the river — their XSR 900 engines push you past the Houses of Parliament at 35 knots. But speed alone doesn’t make a good trip. The route, the time of day, and the skipper matter more than the horsepower. Let me walk you through exactly what to look for, what to skip, and which ticket to buy.

The Three Questions You Must Answer Before Booking

Most people search “Thames speedboat” and click the first result. That’s how you end up on a 45-minute loop that circles the same three bridges. Stop. Ask yourself these three things first.

How much adrenaline do you actually want?

Thames Rockets offers two distinct experiences: the Thames Rocket Express (20 minutes, £35 adult) and the Thames Rocket Blast (50 minutes, £55 adult). The Express is a quick blast from the London Eye to Tower Bridge and back. The Blast goes all the way to the Thames Barrier and back — that’s where the real speed happens because the river widens past Canary Wharf and the speed limit jumps from 12 knots to 35 knots.

If you want the 360-degree spin and the full-throttle run, book the Blast. The Express feels like a warm-up that ends too soon.

What time of day?

Weekday mornings before 11am are dead on the river. You’ll get max speed and no wave chop. Weekend afternoons in summer — especially between 2pm and 4pm — the river is crowded with tourist boats, and your skipper has to slow down constantly. I’ve done a Saturday 3pm trip where we spent half the time puttering behind a City Cruises vessel.

Best time: Tuesday or Wednesday, 10am departure. Lowest crowds, best speed, and the light hits Tower Bridge perfectly.

Are you bringing kids under 12?

Thames Rockets has a minimum height of 0.9m (about 3 feet). Kids under 5 ride free on a lap. But here’s the catch: the boats have no enclosed cabin. If it’s raining or below 15°C, your kid will be miserable. I’ve seen parents wrap toddlers in emergency blankets. Don’t be that person. If the forecast says under 12°C, reschedule.

Thames Rockets vs. Every Other Speedboat (I Tested All of Them)

Let me save you the research time. Here’s the short version of every major London speedboat operator.

Thames Rockets wins for adrenaline because of the 360-degree spins and the fact that their skippers are trained to push the boat harder in safe conditions. Thames Jet is better if you want a fast ride without getting soaked — their boats sit higher and throw less spray. London Rib Voyages is the budget option but their route is short and doesn’t hit the Thames Barrier.

The Thames Rocket Blast Route — What You Actually See

Let me walk through the 50-minute Blast route stop by stop. Knowing this helps you decide if it’s worth your money.

You board at Westminster Pier, right next to the London Eye. The first 5 minutes are slow — the skipper navigates past the Houses of Parliament and under Westminster Bridge at idle speed. This is when you get your photos. After that, the throttle opens up.

First sprint: Westminster to Tower Bridge (10 minutes at 25 knots). You’ll pass the London Eye, the South Bank, the Shard, and HMS Belfast. The skipper points out landmarks over the intercom. This part is fast but not the fastest — the river is narrow here and there are river bus lanes.

Second sprint: Tower Bridge to the Thames Barrier (15 minutes at 35 knots). Once you pass Tower Bridge, the river widens past Canary Wharf and the O2 Arena. This is where the boat hits full speed. The skipper will do at least one 360-degree spin here — hold on.

Turnaround at the Thames Barrier. You’ll stop about 100 meters from the barrier. The skipper gives a 2-minute history talk. Then you turn around and do the whole thing in reverse, hitting full speed again on the way back.

The total distance is about 22 miles round trip. That’s the longest speedboat route on the Thames.

Common Mistakes That Ruin Your Thames Rocket Trip

I’ve seen hundreds of people make these mistakes. Don’t be one of them.

Wearing the wrong clothes

You will get wet. Even on a sunny day, the spray from the bow at 35 knots finds its way onto the boat. Thames Rockets provides waterproof ponchos, but they’re thin plastic. I wear a Patagonia Torrentshell 3L rain jacket (£160) and a pair of Columbia zip-off hiking pants (£55). Jeans get soaked and stay wet for hours. Don’t wear jeans.

Bringing a phone without a lanyard

The boat vibrates hard at speed. I’ve seen three phones fly out of hands and into the Thames. Thames Rockets sells waterproof phone pouches with lanyards for £5 at the ticket desk. Buy one. Or bring your own — I use the JOTO universal dry bag (£12 on Amazon).

Sitting in the back row

The back row gets the most spray and the roughest ride. If you want the smoothest experience, sit in the middle two rows. If you want the most adrenaline, sit in the front row — you get the best view and the most airtime when the boat jumps waves. But expect to be completely soaked. I always sit front row right side (the skipper sits left).

Booking through a third-party site

Don’t buy from GetYourGuide or Viator. They add 15-20% markup and sometimes sell tickets for times that are already sold out. Book directly on thamesrockets.com. They offer a 10% discount for booking 7 days in advance — use code DIRECT10 (still active as of March 2026).

When You Should NOT Book Thames Rockets

This is the part most blogs skip. Thames Rockets is not for everyone. Here’s when you should pick something else.

If you have back problems or are pregnant. The boat slams into waves. Hard. I’ve had my spine compressed on a choppy day. The website says “not suitable for pregnant women or people with back/neck conditions” — believe it. Thames Jet uses waterjet propulsion that’s much smoother. Book that instead.

If you want a sightseeing tour. The skipper gives commentary, but you’re moving too fast to absorb details. You’ll see the landmarks but you won’t learn much. For actual history, take a City Cruises hop-on-hop-off boat (£22 for a day pass). It’s slower but you’ll actually understand what you’re looking at.

If you’re on a tight budget. £55 for 50 minutes is £1.10 per minute. That’s expensive for a family of four. The Uber Boat by Thames Clippers costs £8.20 for a single from Westminster to Greenwich and runs every 20 minutes. It’s not fast, but it’s a river experience that won’t break the bank.

If it’s raining sideways. The boats have no roof. If the forecast says heavy rain, reschedule. Thames Rockets has a 48-hour free cancellation policy. Use it.

How to Maximize Your Thames Rocket Experience (Pro Tips)

I’ve done this enough times to know the tricks. Here’s exactly what I do every time.

Book the 10am departure on a weekday. The river is empty. The skipper has more room to open the throttle. I’ve had skippers do three 360-degree spins on a Tuesday morning — on a Saturday, they’re lucky to get one.

Arrive 30 minutes early. Check-in at Westminster Pier is chaotic. There’s one small desk and the queue backs up. Show up 30 minutes before departure, use the toilet (there are none on the boat), and get your poncho and phone pouch sorted.

Bring a change of clothes. I keep a dry set in a Sea to Summit Ultra-Sil Dry Sack (£18, 13 liters). After the trip, I change in the public toilets at Westminster Pier. Walking around London in wet jeans is miserable. Don’t do it.

Tip the skipper £5 cash. They’re not allowed to solicit tips, but they remember the people who do. On my third trip, I tipped the skipper and he let me sit in the front row while he did an extra spin. Worth every penny.

Bring sunglasses. The spray + sun = you can’t see. I wear Oakley Holbrook XL polarized lenses (£180). Cheap sunglasses work too — just make sure they have a strap. I’ve seen Ray-Bans fly off at 35 knots.

The Only Thames Rocket Ticket Worth Buying

Here’s my final verdict after 8 trips across 3 years.

If you’re booking one trip, book the Thames Rocket Blast at 10am on a weekday, directly from thamesrockets.com, sit front row right side, wear a rain jacket and non-jeans pants, bring a lanyard phone case and a change of clothes, and tip the skipper £5.

That combination gives you the fastest possible speed, the best view, the driest experience you can get on a wet boat, and a skipper who’ll push the boat to its limit. Anything else is a compromise.